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| Don't talk so loudly, and please stop talking so goddamn much. Jesus H. Christ. Also, don't video chat for over four hours in said loud-ass voice until after 3 am on a school night. I contemplate putting a bullet in the back of your head more times than I can count...basically whenever I hear your voice, saying something retarded. GOD I WISH YOU WOULD STOP SPEAKING RIGHT NOW.
Don't be such a fucking psycho. Muslims are not all car-bombing jihadists. Honestly? How the fuck can you go here; I thought I could escape stupid people here. Also, please stop telling people not to see Frost/Nixon because David Frost said it was completely inaccurate and a terrible movie. That's called "making shit up." After you left, I showed said people Frost's exact quotes because I knew you would flip a bitch because you were proven wrong/to be a fucking liar. Don't pretend like you have morals and tell me to become an ethical, unbiased journalist when you are a piece of shit yourself.
Please stop mooching off me constantly. You had an au pair, therefore you are fucking rich. The only reason I am here is because of financial aid. Please stop buying your weird fucking food that you don't even eat to use my awesome food that I bought with my work-study money that I use to support myself. Also, you are not funny and often need to shut your face.
Journalism freaks--get over yourselves. No one cares you read every single publication ever made, no one cares you had a column in your local terrible paper, no one cares you know the names of all the New York Times staff members. No. One. Cares.
To all the drunks in my dorm who get mad when people besides them party - be a little bit less drunk, and a lot a bit less stupid. Also, stop getting so high that your skin looks green and you pass out in my room.
Girl down the hall - you talk like a stuck-up moron and sometimes it's really hard to suppress laughter during your frequent whiny phone calls back home. Make your voice less annoying.
To all the people here who haven't managed to piss me off yet - I thank God for you. You make my life here better and make it easier to pretend like the rest of them don't exist.
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| Oh, how I've missed you Brian Williams. And a reporter is broadcasting from Naperville about the shit car market! Fun.
What's not fun is being the #2 story on CNN for having a serial killer in your area. Sheley was in my brother's class. And Russell went to my church. He used to sit in the same seat every time he would come to church...he had such kind blue eyes and always had a simple little smile. It's strange that a man who lived so quietly all of his 93 years would have his life end this violently and have the entire town knowing his name. He should have been allowed to pass on peacefully in his sleep. Why do these things happen to good people, to families that have already had so much pain? I suppose these are the age old questions that you revisit countless times in the course of a life. The answers never have the decency to reveal themselves.
After my visit to Chicago, I decided I'm definitely ready to be out of Sterling and thriving on my own. Well, hopefully thriving. Even though I've wanted it for so long, I didn't know whether I could make it, but I think last week convinced me I can do it. Sooo...yay summer. Last as long as you'd like, but I'll be ready come September.
Oh life, it's bigger
it's bigger than you
and you are not me
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| I forgot about this. Sorry Xanga. I'm not even writing in Century Gothic. This is a crime against nature.
So I'm going to Northwestern University, surprise! Why did I worry so much? Because if I hadn't, I probably wouldn't have gotten in. I'm really scared about being relatively alone with many new kinds of personalities surrounding me, but I think I will make the best of it. Of course, the main reasons I'm going are 1. job insurance 2. location 3. great education 4. location 5. I have to admit, the prestige.
Yay, there are a couple terrible reasons for choosing a college on that list.
Visiting Drew will cost $24-ish. It could be a lot worse.
SCHOOL--BE OVER!
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| He doesn't understand. Why should he?
Maybe I expect too much. | | |
| Not only do I want to press the fast-forward button, I want to hit it twice.
With all these application essays, I've been forced to assess myself. The problem is, there are too many layers of bullshit to get a sufficient answer on who I am. I'm ambitious yet unmotivated, caring yet unconcerned, confident yet indecisive. Everytime I sit down and attempt to write, I feel like a complete liar. How am I supposed to "show my personality" when I'm not even sure of what that is?
The only thing I've come up with at all is that I'm slapstick comedy--all superficial with no class, and worst of all, you can't put it down on paper. There's no trace of wit, or brilliance, or creativity. Sure, I'm pretty decent at faking things, but do I really want to start off with a completely false pretense in college?
I know it actually wouldn't matter once I was accepted, but it would give me a little piece of mind to know I could attract attention simply by being myself rather than someone who only sounds humorous or intelligent in writing.
I've already given this idea way too much thought. Why can't I pretend and be satisfied like I usually am?
Oh yeah, because I'm not. | | |
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